Cosmo’s ‘Hottest Guys of March Madness’
by Chris Strauss, USA TODAY Sports
Most basketball fans will be watching the NCAA men’s basketball tournament for the buzzer-beaters, the potential of bracket-busting upsets and for the opportunity to cheer on their alma mater. Not the ladies at Cosmopolitan Magazine.
If Cosmo’s website’s “Hottest Guys of March Madness” slideshow is to believed. there will apparently be plenty of women viewing the proceedings with a carnal eye towards these 25 college athletes, uttering double entendres like they were suddenly transformed into Samantha from Sex and the City.
While this evaluation is no more outlandish than plenty of other tournament related content floating around, athletic departments around the country may want to hire extra security around these junior Fabios as they enter and exit the court this weekend. Here are five of the story’s most entertaining descriptions.
(Photo: AP/Timothy B. Easley)
Russ Smith, Louisville Cardinals
Cosmo‘s take: “His moves on the court are “Russdiculous,” but what about elsewhere..”
If the Cardinals guard is anything like his brother, Knicks guard J.R. Smith, they’re probably quite something else.
(Photo: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports)
Joe Jackson, Memphis Tigers
Cosmo‘s take: “There are so, so, sooo many ways we can think of to congratulate Joe on being named first-team all-Conference USA.”
How many of them are NCAA violations? Imagine if he made first-team all- Big East.
Photo: Mary Langenfeld-USA TODAY Sports)
Mike Bruesewitz, Wisconsin Badgers
Cosmo‘s take: “Aside from his impressive moves on the court, there’s just something about Mike’s ginger fro that makes us swoon.”
We look forward to the writer’s next piece, “10 erotic things about McDonald’s commercials”.
(Photo: AP Photo/Orlin Wagner)
Shane Southwell, Kansas State Wildcats
Cosmo’s take: “Standing at 6’6″, Shane is one tall glass of water we’d like to drink.”
Due to its official NCAA tournament sponsorship, you’ll need to switch that to “one tall glass of Powerade” starting Thursday.
(Photo: Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports)
Keith Appling, Michigan State Spartans
Cosmo’s take: “Keith is a quick, explosive guard that will attack the rim. Well, we hope the first part doesn’t apply to off the court.”
Ugh. Let’s stop here.… [For more on 5 ridiculous observations from Cosmo's 'Hottest Guys of March Madness', click here.]