It was the final 90 seconds of the Houston Rockets' first playoff series win in a dozen years and Ron Artest chased a loose ball over the baseline, beyond the edges of the hardwood floor and before you knew it, he was six rows deep and lost amid a throng of celebrating fans at the Toyota Center.
"I've been in the stands before," Artest said a short time later in the interview room, wearing a sheepish grin and the knowing gleam in his eye."
Unlike his experience at the Palace of Auburn Hills in 2004, where he touched off a free-for-all, Artest was in friendly territory on his home floor and a fan offered to give him a beer rather than throw one at him.
"When he did that, I was like, 'You know what? I'm gonna sit down and enjoy this,' " Artest said. "I was gonna take a sip, but there's too many cameras."
Welcome to the Planet Ron Ron, where every day is an adventure that drives over a bumpy mountain of contradictions.
All of which makes the subplot of Artest vs. Kobe Bryant as delicious as any in the second round of the playoffs.
Round 1 went to Artest and the Rockets, who got everyone's attention with their 100-92 lock down win over LA in the series opener. While Kobe finished with 32 points, it took him 31 shots to get there and he rarely was able to get to the rim. Artest's 21 points were as impressive as new his faux Mohawk haircut, complete with the Rockets logo carved into the side of his head.
It's Kobe, who measures every thought and action as carefully as a member of the demolition team, against Ron Ron, the emotional ticking bomb who is apt to blow up at any minute, fragging anyone in the room.
Back in March, when the Lakers last visited Houston, Artest surprised everyone inside and out of the Rockets locker room by trotting out a dumpster full of trash talk that he launched in Kobe's direction.
All Bryant did was light up Artest's so-called defense for 13 points in the third quarter and 18 in the fourth quarter on his way to 37 for the game, while also piling up six assists, five rebounds and four steals.
"It wasn't much of a battle," Bryant sneered afterward. "I kicked his ass."
So knowing all of that, it only made sense that on Planet Ron Ron that Artest should warm up for Kobe in the second round by pronouncing his first-round match-up, Brandon Roy of Portland, "the best player I've ever played against."
When reminded of Bryant and LeBron James, Artest wouldn't change his tune.
"You know, Brandon Roy is the fist player I've ever played in the NBA to give me 40," Artest said. "I was amazed. I went, 'Wow, this guy gave me 40 points! He has totally no respect for me.' "
Respect and a bit of that crazy-eyed fear-factor is precisely the reason the Rockets traded for Artest last summer. The front office and coaching staff believed they needed a hard-edged character who could take the nice-guy combo of Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady to the next level.
So the day that word of the trade got out, Yao, who was preparing for the Olympics with the Chinese national team in Nanjing, offered his opinion on the deal.
"There's worry. Obviously, yes," Yao said while chuckling. "We will think about it, of course. Hopefully, he's not fighting anymore and going after a guy in the stands."
When someone relayed Yao's comments, the tough guy went soft. Artest squealed loudly and said maybe he'd have to re-think joining the Rockets.
On Planet Ron Ron, it seems, only Artest can crack jokes about him going into the stands.
All in all, it has been a curious season as Artest first announced that he would prefer to come off the bench, then chafed at not being in the starting lineup. The player the Rockets wanted to life them up, spent the first several months of the season tip-toeing around everyone, like a late-arriving dowager trying to find her proper seat at the tea party.
When McGrady went into his yo-yo routine in and out of the lineup due to an ailing left knee, Artest began to mimic the act and changed his availability due to a sprained ankle on almost a daily basis. It wasn't until McGrady finally shut himself down for the season on Feb. 9 that Artest began to fully come out of his shell and got comfortable.
That is, until the playoffs began. Drawing the defensive assignment on Roy, Artest treated the offensive half of the game almost as if it didn't exist. He poured in 15 points in the first quarter of Game 2 and then scored only four more the rest of the way, rarely looking at the basket. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, considering Artest's penchant for overdribbling and breaking the offense to go solo.
By the time the Rockets arrived at Game 6, Artest was averaging just 13 points and shooting 38 percent in the series. Then he went ballistic with 27 points to lead the way in the clincher before taking his dive into the stands and giving the back of his hand to Bryant as he looked ahead to this series.
"Kobe just started playing defense recently, the past few years," he said.
Ron Ron waves off the notion that he's adding fuel to the raging fire that is Kobe.
"Kobe's already motivated," Artest said. "He had 81 points in a game and I didn't say anyone was better than him over that time. He don't have to do much to get him motivated. He just wants to win.
"I'm finished looking up to Kobe."
His teammates laugh, shake their heads and sometimes avert their eyes when Artest is being Artest. At a recent practice, Artest went into a rant, challenging every player to execute defensive drills "the way we did in college. Didn't any of you guys learn that?"
Behind his back, the rest of the Rockets giggled and rolled their eyes.
After Roy torched him for 42 in Game 2 of the Portland series, Artest went on an angry, profane rant that even had elder statesman Dikembe Mutombo asking him to calm down. About two minutes later, Artest walked up to one player who he had called out and apologized.
"I'm sorry," he said. "You know that's just me."
And there's nobody else quite like him in the NBA.
Artest vs. Kobe, the game within the games. Round 1 goes to the Rockets.
But on the Planet Ron Ron, you never know what the next day will bring.
