Writer mocks Pistons and their cheerleaders
by James Jahnke, USA TODAY Sports
Say what you will about British sports writing, but the Queen’s subjects do have a way with the language.
We’re pretty sure Oliver Brown of The (London) Daily Telegraph wasn’t impressed by the NBA spectacle of the Detroit Pistons facing the New York Knicks at the O2 Arena on Thursday. But we really just love his turns of phrase.
Some of the best from Brown’s take on the game:
• “We British like our sport served up with a breathless intensity, but the Pistons’ 102-87 defeat on Thursday night to the New York Knicks came layered with such incessant interruptions that all but the most ardent aficionados swiftly lost touch with the balance of play.”
• “Carmelo Anthony’s metronomic free-throws for the Knicks were all very well, but they became almost incidental as the audience’s eyes wandered to gyrating cheerleaders and the Pistons’ donkey mascot bashing an oversized drum.”
• “Franchise players such as Greg Monroe and Kyle Singler ambled into the arena as anonymously as a pair of very tall men rounded up from a rush-hour Tube train.”
• “Sport in Detroit was until recently a running joke: the hapless Lions lost all 16 of their regular-season NFL games in 2008, the only franchise ever to do so. The trend was at last bucked by the Tigers’ advance to last autumn’s baseball World Series, but the Pistons looked unlikely to be bestowing more glory upon the most recession-ravaged city in America.”
• “Detroit’s predicament was captured even before tip-off when Tayshaun Prince, seeking to pay thanks to the ‘beautiful city of London,’ found his microphone abruptly cut off.”
• “The only problem was that amid the unending din, whether from impromptu coaching clinics or Misha B’s shrill half-time show, it was often damnably difficult to tell whether there was still a basketball match taking place.”
Can’t wait for the next basketball match overseas.
James Jahnke writes for the Detroit Free Press.