by Justin L. Abrotsky, USA TODAY Sports

Frank Martin does not like the South Carolina Gamecocks basketball team right now.

To be fair, I don’t like them either, but I’m not paid to coach them.

Martin, following the team’s loss to a fellow resident of the SEC’s lower half, the LSU Tigers, he said some pretty brutal things about his guys. These are the eight harshest quotes, as transcribed by The Charleston (S.C.) Post and Courier:

8) (On a list of former players Martin has coached, including Jacob Pullen, Rodney McGruder, Denis Clemente, Brent Wright, Sylbrin Robinson, Udonis Haslem, Steve Blake, Jose Baseu, Gimel Martinez, Allen Edwards, Steve Edwards and Doug Edwards) “If I had any of them on my team, then I’d have a guy I could trust on my team. So we’d be all right tomorrow.”

7) “We lead the country in air-ball layups.”

6) “If you’ve got no life for what you do, then you shouldn’t do it. If you’ve got no passion for what you do, then you shouldn’t do it. Right now, we’re passionless and we’re lifeless.”

5) “If you take Bruce Ellington off our team, you’d probably have the 12 leading candidates for the starring roles in … ‘The Return of the Living Dead,’ the zombie movie.”

4) “If I’ve lost them, then they better disappear, because it’s going to be hard for them to be here next year if I’ve lost them 10 months into the job.”

3) “I’ve been doing this for 28 years, nine of which as a junior varsity high school coach. That means I’ve dealt with 14-year-olds. I’ve never been more embarrassed to call myself a basketball coach than I am today.”

2) “If this was the NBA, we’d fine them, we’d take their money, we’d release them and say, ‘Good luck with ever finding another job.’”

1) “I have never been so embarrassed. I shouldn’t coach basketball ever again if this is how my team plays.”

The full video is here, but be warned that it involves Martin’s cartoonishly heavy sucking on what’s either a piece of hard candy or a throat lozenge, which makes the clip either annoying to watch or more … [For more on The worst things Frank Martin said about his team Thurs., click here.]